Why I Hate Arctic Monkeys
These four young chaps are members of Britain's new craze breakout smash hit band Arctic Monkeys. You might have heard of them. From left to right we have Jamie Cook on guitar, Matt Helders on drums, Alex Turner on guitar/vocals and Andy Nicholson on bass. They are sort of an amalgamation of Britain's current "it" bands, but instead of singing about politics or using tounge-in-cheek jabs and puns they sing about booze and sex and being... famous? Wait, this is their first album right? Yeah, can you say pretentious much?
Anywho, these guys formed in 2002 and started practicing in their garage or whatever. Through pure clever word of mouth though they have exploded in popularity. By June '05 they were selling out shows and had a number one single. Early in '06(I can't be bothered to look up exactly when) they released their first album "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not" which, of course, went straight to number one. I have to admit, pretty impressive.
So why do I hate Arctic Monkeys? It's simple really. They are not good musicians! They have no talent or creativity; they are average at best. Yet this shitty band that I would expect to see playing in some skeevy dive in Jersey are in actuality triple platinum sensations. Some critics even have had the gall to call them the next Oasis. One even went so far as to say, and I quote, "the biggest band since The Beatles". The Beatles. Excuse me but are you out of your fucking mind?! To compare Arctic Monkeys to The Beatles is the equivalent of comparing Ashlee Simpson to let's say, Albert Einstein. Yeah, one is kind of okay to appreciate(secretly... from afar) but the other has made a mark on history. If you think fucking Arctic Monkeys are going to make an impact on all music hereafter you are absolutely delusional. Example: here are the lyrics to the song "The View From The Afternoon" off of Arctic Monkeys' first album:
Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before
I want to see all of the things that we've already seen
Lairy girls hung out the window of a limousine
Of course it's fancy dress
And they're all looking quite full on in bunny ears and devil horns and hats
Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before
I want to see all of the things that we've already seen
I want to see you take the jackpot out the fruit machine
And put it all back in
You've got to understand that you can never beat the bandit no
And she won't be surprised, no she won't be shocked
When she's pressed the star after she's pressed unlock
And there's verse and chapter sat in her inbox
And all that it says is that you've drank a lot
There's more, but it's basically the shame shit over and over. And if that's not bad enough, the song sounds like... shitty ska mixed with The Red Hot Chili Peppers with a dash of Bloc Party on top. Pretty much some sloppy power chords, a boring bass line and some drums. Man oh man, I remember when I first heard this ten years ago. There is one song I actually enjoy somewhat called "I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor" but the rest of the album is so atrocious it doesn't matter. Do yourself a favor and listen to one of the better Brit bands, like The Futureheads. Hell, even Bloc Party is better than this bollocksy shite.
But hey, what do I know? They've got to be popular for a reason!
posted by josh likes it ruff @ 9:13 PM
97 comments
97 Comments:
Oh man, you're my saviour. Well, not quite, but this article was brilliant. I hate these bastards and the hype surrounding them. (I hate the lack of article in front of their stupid name, too.) I could and have made far more interesting albums, lyrically and musically, in an hour and a half than these idiots do in six months.
U r soooo gay
Arctic Monkeys RULE!!!!!!!!!!
So Does Sheffield !
Tuesday 15th May 2007
I hate Artic Monkeys too ! I hate their educationally-subnormal chirpy working class lads about town on the pull for their Sheffield-Brilton(Britney or Paris whoever's Paying) i hate the fact if you are Working Class you are supposed to be stupid enough to nuy into their trite,doggerell drivel gobshite about chips and talentless-wh$re-birds and sex in shit-stinking shitty chipshop doorways in shitty Sheffield! They are Sheffields answer to shitty Eliott Smith!Oh!?And they share the same shitty worthless piece of crap record label-Domino.
GOBSHITE!
Yours sincerely,
Marianna Jane Close
P.S. I bet they look shite on the dance-floor! They can't even fxxxing Dance!
He said he couldn't Do the CHA-CHA-CHA!OOH!
OH GOD! Now i feel like i am being -mean again! A Cambrdige University Profesor of English Literature would not feel that he(for Gender's sake) was being mean-offering valid criticism to utter drivel doggerell offered to the world at great expensive-to us by talentless-greedy-wh$res called POPSTARS AND ROCKSTARS!
So why should i feel guilty-or get scowling -looks from coked-up talentless-wh$re record companies on the take!?
YOU ALL SUCK! GET OVER IT!
SIC! BUY,CAMBRIDGE EXPENSE
Marianna Jane Close
(Yes i Proof-read my own Blog Comments)
sic:Professor
(me again:Marianna Jane Close)
Thank GOD someone finally wrote something truthful about this talentless waste of space. They can't play or sing. They are overrated
((U r soooo gay
Arctic Monkeys RULE
So Does Sheffield !))
Yeah they do!! So why don’t you all just fuck off and do something productive with your time insed of slating bands that are obviously good or they wouldn’t be were there are today.
Your just green with envy coz there living the dream an your jobs a pile of wank I’m pissed off I just wasted my time reading this wank article that was written by sum bitter old whopper.
Your probably ugly to.
ARCTIC MONKEYS RULE END OF!!!
I hate this guys...
hahaha I bet you're a teen...so so angry. Arctic are a really good band, especially the Lyrics of Turner... stop whining please.
ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE ABSOLUTE SHITE!!!!
their "fans" are bandwagon jumping attention seeking pretentious imbeciles!
just seeing their picture makes me want to punch their lights out.
I read one headline in the music press that proclaimed "alex turner is a god" god of what, exactly? being untalented? singing in a shitty out of date indie band?
They are truly crap, get over it!
I had the misfortune of being forced to listen to BOTH their albums. The court case for being reimbursed for my eardrums is continuing...
p.s. if you think of me as being philistine, well...I work for a contempary record shop. So there!
I reckon they got where they are today by backhanded big money deals by their corrupt management/evil cabal. They simply have NO TALENT.
Their fawning fans think they are wonderful, ok, but don't shove that in people's faces...people are fully entitled to their opinions.
p.s. I think radiohead are extremely overrated too, but thats for another forum!!!!!
People who like the fucking arctic monkeys are the same people who think coleen mcloughlin is a fashion goddess, and probably eat lots of "organic food" simply because it's fucking TRENDY! At best, the fucking frosty chimps whatever are a poor student band, and worst, a sad indication of current media tastes. All the Arctics are doing is "the emperors new clothes" routine...they sound like "The New Fast Automatic Daffodils" (use the internet to find out who they are) from the early to mid 90s...and they were shite too (where are they now, hmmmmm?) ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE ABSOLUTELY THE WORST BAND IN THE WORLD PERIOD (well, I'm gonna get value and put BABYSHAMBLES in there too!!!!)
Upon due consideration on listening to the arctics monkeys efforts and comparing them to similar groups, I have sadly come to the conclusion they are four wankers. I am an older person with musical experience.
Arctic Monkeys can actually suck cocks in hell for all I care.
Finally, someone has published the truth xD
ARCTIC MONKEYS =
UTTERLY PRETENTIOUS,
OVERRATED,
DRIVEL,
HYPE MACHINE,
ZERO TALENT,
WANKERS,
PUNCHABLE,
BAD PLAIN BAD
THE END. HELL YEAH!!!!
MY FAVE AM SONG: THE 2 SECOND GAP BETWEEN SONGS, AND WHEN THE CD STOPS.
IF YOU LIKE CLAY PIGEON SHOOTING, THE ARCTICS CDS MAKE EXCELLENT SUBSTITUTE CLAY PIGEONS.
I love this article! Do you ever get this feeling when you agree with someone or something so much? I couldn't agree more to this, they are a bunch of wankers, with the most boring music and soooooo overrated. Their voice, their look, their reputation... that lead singer is the biggest twat ever. All my friends love them which is the most annoying thing. And they just won 2 brit awards last night. Unbelievable. Hopefully they will piss off sometime soon and everyone will hate them. And OMG - are you serious about that critic calling them as good as THE BEATLES? Arctic Monkeys have done shit all towards music except make it worse and open doors to more talentless bands.
That felt so good! Nice one for posting
22nd feb 2008
i am writing to ask if you can please remove my awful offensive comments from your blogpage i have a mental illness and i was not well at the time and i feel very very ashamed about making these awful offensive comments.i made them under the name marianna jane close.i do not feel this way at all about these people and i am very very sorry to everyone involved,out of respect for them please can you remove my highly offensive awful comments.thank you please can you email me to let me know if this is possible to remove my offensive awful comments. i include an email address for you to reply to.i am very very sorry for having written on your blogpage please accept my apologies.
email marianneclose @mail.com
Alright Laurie!
just think yourself superior to your friends in that you're not a sycophantic "fan" of
these complete fuckwits!. Everyone knows the BR(SH)IT awards are fixed! The arctics management fucking PAID for their win!. GOD I DESPISE THAT BAND!! You are so right about them opening doors for a flood of really shitty bands to enter, just so Q magazine can masturbate over them with praise and 5 star album reviews. You know it's true!.
Oh, Aimee.
You're typical of the average arctic monkeys hanger-on...
You're obviously stupid,
You cannot spell,
You're blind to others opinions.
WELCOME TO THE HYPE MACHINE!
THE ARCTIC'S MATRIX HAS YOU...
INTO THE SHEEP PEN...
and Aimee,
I BET YOU WORSHIP COLLEEN MCLOUGHLIN,
don't you?
GET REAL,
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE BULLSHIT!
THE ARCTIC MONKEYS ARE TERRIBLE!
ALEX TURNER HAS A FACE ONLY A
KNUCKLEDUSTER COULD LOVE!
THEIR SONGS SOUND ALIKE (ALL SHIT)
get a fuckin grip. You shit heads sit around all day bashing bands that are good!!!!! I played a few gigs with the arctic monkeys in the U.S and they were some of the nicest guys I have ever met. They aren't snobby famous people like most people expect. They are down to earth day to day guys like anyone of us. Yall probably got no girls considering you sit on your ass all day doin nothin but grippin about how bad you think bands are. News flash: they are actually good. If you think you can go out and make better music that hits the top of the carts then go right ahead. Let's see you come close to their fame
I couldn't agree more with this article. Bunch of untalented twats who think there best thing to grace the music business. Up there in the worst band catagory with Babyshambles.
To the guy who commented above...
NEWS FLASH!
The Arctic Monkeys are shite!
They only top the charts because
of all the bandwagon jumpers...like you.
P.s I'm married, and unlike the Arctic Monkeys, play a selection of instruments from guitar, bass and drums. I also have a home studio.
"The Charts" oh the wonderful charts, never in my life have I seen such a shortlived collection of no mark bands with non descript tunes. Shove the arctics up your ass!
fuck you! Why the fuck do you even care if they are good or not. They are some of the nicest guys I've ever met. Let them be. Just cause your not happy with your life doesnt mean you gotta blame everything else. Yeah you and your spouse sound like a" FUN" group.
Go fuck yourself shit heads. You are poor and shite.
Like Coronation St at best - fun watching monoculture. At worst - turning the creative minds of our innocent children to rot. It never was music, just clever business in a sick age.
"fuck you! Why the fuck do you even care if they are good or not. They are some of the nicest guys I've ever met. Let them be. Just cause your not happy with your life doesnt mean you gotta blame everything else. Yeah you and your spouse sound like a" FUN" group.
Go fuck yourself shit heads. You are poor and shite."
Buddy, I' not defending that musician guy, but you sound like you're obsessed with the arctic monkeys being "nice guys". You sound like you're a stalker. You may think they're "nice guys" and they might be to you, but others have opinions too, and possibly bad experiences. I think people are fed up with them being put on a pedestal all the time and fawned over. There are other bands out there, just as good/bad or better. Be open minded to others. If you like them so much, why are you posting on a forum that's running them down? Just ignore it. God, I hate being a mediator!!!
guy on top give the boy a break. I hate the arctic monkeys just us much as the other but I get his point. I've heard from freinds that they are nice guys. They're music just blows completley. I literally have to turn the radio off everytime I hear them come on. The medias in a shit hole obviously. They may be nice guys but they are damn lucky nice guys for making it this far with such shite. You can't even fucking understand him. Its cool to defend them but just let it go
9th march 2008
Dear Josh,
i am writing to ask if you can please remove all posts i made very regrettably on your webpage during a period of mental illness.i wouod like to apologise for the offensive posts i made and feel very ashamed about having done this regrettably.i would be very grateful if you could please remove all my posts which i feel are very wrong and inappropriate for your website.
with regards,
marianna jane close
15th march 2008
dear josh,
i have tried to contact you to apologise for the very regettable offensive posts i made on your blog,i am very sorry for having done this during manic depressive illness.please if possible could you remove all posts i made and email me a reply to let me know,i would be very grateful and i am very sorry for having posted these regrettable posts on your blog.
with my sincere apologies,
marianna jane close
Now then.
Your all just jealous
get a life
havent you gt owt better to do than whine and complain about music and what you want.
i havent thats why am here complaining to you!
just get a life seriously. You must be sad!
Have you ever been to a live Gig?
Thats what meks them who they are, if you go to one then you would understand but your insulance is prety pathetic!
Peace Out Biatch XD
Big up sheffield (ahahahah)
Kepp The Faith
wheyyyyyyyyy
Third Album this year Xd
cnt wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How could you say this about the Arctic Monkeys? They have more talent then you will ever have...They are one of the best indie bands in a long time and my favorite band. The lyrics are great and upbeat and all their songs are differn't. Stop whinning about them and get a music taste since you obviously have none...I don't see how you can hate some of their songs. Leave Before the Lights Come On, A Certain Romance, When the Sun Goes Down, Old Yellow Bricks, 505, Teddy Picker...I could go on but I choose not too since you obviously get the point.
I've never given the band much thought but what i'd heard i didn't like that much, a friend who likes them said i wasn't informed enough so im researching it and want to put in my 2 pennys worth! I've come to the conclusion that they're ok in their way but overated (by their own admission) and promote a sort of self-centered bolshiness in their lyrics, interviews and noise which i personally dislike! But having read all the entries, they're defenders sound like they're defending a belief more than anything, a bit like christians saying you're 'just jealous 'cos i have god in my life' Theres been no sensible defence of them, just, 'they're amazingly talented and sheffield rules, believe' etc, Oh and to the Yank, I don't want musicians to be laid back salt of the earth types, i want them to be superhumans who make me feel free with their music like many can, not make me feel like a defensive, sarcastic and straightsville member of society, which is how the artic monkeys make me feel...
fuck artic monkeys
wow, and i thought i was the only one who didn't get their appeal. but they're so dreamy!...*puke*
Here is the deal with the Arctic Monkeys, they are actually trying to be famous, for trying not to be famous. An absolute gem, of a tactic, however, it's bollocks. Their music does however merit not being famous, in as much as, it's bollocks.
An avid follower, and proclaimer of British music, I did curl behing the couch when their pathetic attempts at music reared it's ugly head. I listened to the CD on the back of hype. Born out of the medium of MySpace and the internet (hardly warrinting any sort of credit - it's like playing Draughts with Chess piecies, the cheating bastards), I really have began to loose my faith in British Music. The next Oasis album better be as good as previously, otherwise I may be fucked. Sadly, the music style adopted by the frozen apes has been utilised by The View, only, The View are better.
If the Monkeys could do the world a favour, put the Guitars down (assuming they actually play them - hell, they have been fake from the start), and leave the world to stem the bleeding from their ears, these, I dont want to be famous, but just take my photo anyway, arseholes can get into living in reality.
Lads, lads, lads, you're not cool, you are about as popular as Gordon Brown, the world has woken up and hates you, and the puppety shadow pish is and has always been laughable!!
set to be the most successful band in english history
clearly not shit.
now that is end of.
dear josh,
i have written to you several times asking you to please remove my very regrettable comments i posted on your weblog page.i just don't understand why you feel a need to keep these wrongful comments posted on your webpage.i have told you i have a mental illness and i was not well when i posted them,but you still keep them posted on your weblog.i just feel it is very unneccessary and hurtful and i just wish you would understand that and please remove them.thankyou,
regards,
marianna
OK, in your opinion arctic monkeys are shit, so why bother wrighting about it? They must be doing something right to sell all there albums and gigs. I bet you listen to shit like kiaser cheifs wich lyrics are more bad then monkys. Their new alubum and side project just proves how class arctics and alex are. They are young, they want to write about fights,sex and whatever else but the point is, their still learning, and learning fast. So fuck off all you haters and can I say, Youve been told by a fourteen year old, suck my dick
LOL, well done above, for proving the writers point, that their no biggy cos they appeal to practically....no-one?!
so anyway, yes, i wouldn't mind the fact that they are making absolutly loads, but what for? if all i have to do is strum my guitar and say words to the music to make money, then oh my god, give me 5 mins and i'll be number 1.
yep soz to break it to ya, but thats all you're listenin too :(, talentless, effortless music, and tbh u can see its all done for money not devotion, so they've got u all under a money hook....congratz idiots. your just paying for their guitars.
Although I will admit that they're not Oasis or Beatles (I'm more a Stones guy myself) they do have some talent. There are MUCH better bands out these days, but Arctic Monkeys are definitely not the worst.
I love how somebody said "the lyrics of Turner", like you'd say the "melodies of Brahms" or the "genius of Hawking".
The internet is for sharing views without having idiots slating you for having them, and making assumptions about their physical appearance or their taste in music.
One last thought - Britney Spears is famous. So therefore, she must be amazing and we must all grovel at her feet.
THE ARTIC PANSIES
the beatles my arse more like chaz and dave nah wait scratch that chaz and dave have a glimmer of some form of tallent i really fucking hate this band and would love to take the cunt alex and ram his guitar and mic down his fucking throught for the insult that i have had to endewer called the artic pansies last album outting to say that the artic monkeys are the next beatles is like saying sweeney tod was a barber with flare the artic monkeys should do us all a favour and learn some new chords or fuck off back to where ever they came from they get right up my fucking tits death to the artic pansies
WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS A GOOD BAND?!!!!! THEY CANT PLAY THEIR INSTRUMENTS LOL THE GUITARISTS SOUND LIKE A PILE OF SHIT AND THE DRUMMER. . . HES NOT REALLY A DRUMMER SURELY. THE 16THS HE PLAYS IN EVERY SONG IS "AMAZING" PURE TALENT HA. BUNCH OF FUKIN LOSERS
What a load of chav bastards. Their music is ridiculously boring, so much so it could be a joke and nobody would ever know. Overhyped NME shit, Indie actually used to be good but now its just fucking chavs with their guitars strapped stupidly high for no reason with no talent singing in regional accents just to be annoying. They can fuck themselves.
they are poopoo
they are big and fat and smelly and their feet smell or fotten egg... poo POO heads!
Erm..so i bet you take back everything you have said about the arctic monkeys?? look how big they are now...plus alex turner is hotttt and you know it. Im sure he doesnt really care what you think at the end of the day...
His lyrics are fucking genius ...live with it
I really like them.
People need to learn everyone has their own opinion. Some people will like it, others won't. It's subjective and this really wasn't offensive...?
Looks like you got that one right then... pfffftttt
Yeah you're right mate Arctic Monkey's are just awful. Although they are a 100 times better than say Lady Gaga or he who shall not be named Justin B- No! He shall not be named! The Futureheads and Bloc Party are 10 times better than Arctic Monkeys, though! I mean they have that one good song like you said but the rest f@#$in' sucks!
well you were worng!
June 02nd 2012
Well, time has proved that you were wrong. You might not like them and you don't have to, but saying that they were hype, overrated and talentless is a lie. 6 years have passed and they evolved and get better with each new album. Alex Turner is an amazing song writer and musician. These guys were teenagers when they first started and they were strong enough to make it through and establish their band 's deserved spot. They might not make the kinda music you like to listen to, but they are great, talented, brilliant and they definitely made their name in the history of british music. They totally deserve being side-by-side with The Beatles and Oasis.
I just can´t disagree with you, and you say it right without unjustified hate or something. People are showing their stupidity by liking this shitty band, i mean is really a fucking bad band and is a bad taste.
This comment has been removed by the author.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Are you fucking out of your fucking mind Arctic Monkeys are the Best band ever if all of you are so fucking clever and saying that they are doing something bad in there songs then go ahead and produce 4 fucking albums and top the fucking charts like they did or when you have your first gig fill the fucking pub with people who by the way love the music!!!
If all of you think that they are shit then you have a really bad opinion about music.
And some of you said that they are only doing this for money well they are not if they were doing this for the fucking money they would not hand out there first albums for free at there gigs!!!!!would they now? no I don't think so too
And if they ware so bad then why would they play at the Olympics???
So all of you cunts out who called them wanks and other names think again because they are not the wanks you are!!!!
Go fuck each other you are a group of wanks cunts and fuckers
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Simple. They have just ruined my night at Glasto. Why do we have these morons on the Pyramid . No talent . No tunes. Wankers .
Fuss about nothing . Who ever booked
them for the first night needs a good kicking.
All show and no talent Garbage !
Oh, go fuck yourselves dickheads.
Okay so when was this blog made, like 2007. Well it's 2013 now and I don't really know anyone else who likes them. I only discovered them like 2 months ago and already like them but have u seen the shit there is today- Justin beiber, one direction, miley Cyrus, lady gaga, niki Minaj, lil Wayne ect, it's all terrible. You probably don't give a crap about them now but seriously why do people write blogs about the bands they hate?
okay guys there album AM is actually a pretty good album...... and im not one of those people who only like them because its "trendy" I love all genres of music so there.... and they do have talent if they didn't they wouldn't be making money and selling out concerts..
you must be feeling pretty stupid now that they are one of the biggest rock bands all over the world ;)
The Arctic Wankers have always been a crock of shit. "Indie" hahaha. Corporate rock for the masses. Alex Turner looks and sounds like a reject skiffle singer from the fifties!
You are a bastard Arctic Monkeys are the best!
I Hate Everything fan?
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